Navigating Identity and Relationships in the Workplace

When I quit my job in corporate banking, almost 10yrs ago now, I was so relieved that I didn’t have to dress up in corporate clothes anymore. This change was more than just external; it symbolised the end of having to take on an image that wasn’t aligned with who I was.

So why did I feel the need to portray an image that didn’t align with who I was or wanted to be? At the heart of it, I feared I wasn't good enough and believed I needed to conform to fit in.

This is a commonly held fear, especially in the early stages of a new career or role, that can manifest as anxiety about judgment or rejection. It is just one example of a variety of underlying fears that impact how we portray ourselves in our workplace. Another common example is the fear of being exploited by others. These fears are understandable and shared by many.

How do these fears impact our ability to build relationships?

To manage perceived risks, such as being rejected, we can adopt an image to create a sense of safety, appearing and behaving in ways we think others will approve of. For example, feeling the need to dress in a way that we believe others will perceive as professional. While some of this is necessary, overly focusing on this image can hinder our authenticity, affecting our performance and job satisfaction.

If you’d like to consider this for yourself, I invite you to reflect on a recent experience that pushed you outside your comfort zone, like presenting to a large audience or introducing new ideas in a meeting. Did concerns about appearing "professional enough" dominate, or were you comfortable being yourself? The point here is not to dismiss professionalism but to avoid conforming to an image based on our own perceptions of others' expectations.

Upholding a mask is an energy-consuming task, and it creates a sense of disconnection from who we each are, our unique personality, creativity and humanity. This can create uncertainty or unease in our interactions with others, which means we struggle to build authentic relationships.

The question to consider is are you acting to uphold an image in areas of your work, and is this serving you well? Is it impacting your ability and confidence to build authentic and trusted relationships in your workplace?

🧵There are many threads here and we’ll keep pulling them throughout this newsletter series, unravelling the things that can hold us back from forming transformational relationships.

Next week, I'll share insights into becoming more authentic in your workplace.

P.S. this content applies to all relationships, however, we are applying it through the lens of building authentic work-related relationships.

Thanks for being on this journey!

Natalie Shaw
CEO @ OneUpOneDown